when does the pain stop?

[Kath-ja]

I'm now on my onw for about 8 mths but he still is in my thoughts.. every single day.. Iam dreamin of him every night.. we don't have contact any more.. but we spend so many years together.. (around 7) - he left for someone else.. we didn't had many problems.. we were so much in love.. he ask me to marry him..he was crying the way I was when it came to the break.. he wanted to keep in toach - stay friends, I decided to break up every contact - it was hurting too much.. I couldn't believe he is doin that.. cause he always was so special - I never thought he could hurt me like that.. at the moment I don't know exactly what I'm feeling.. it's not that I want him to come back.. cause I think I can never forgive him .. it's just the memories.. I miss past days.. we had so much fun together.. and I'm angry that all of this is gone.. when does this stop? will it ever stop? I've the feeling that I never can fall in love again.. Do you think such experience will make sense at one day?

[ron£million]

such an experience

[emmie]

theres always a reason for things like that

[Medina]

It will make sense one day when u finally decide to move on and work on ur own projects...

[Ominious]

Eventually, time heals. In your case, more time.

[TDH]

I had a similar experience... just stop thinking about him. keep yourself busy with some other activities or join some fun club.

[pita p]

You need to find someone else to stop that pain.

[jamiezamluk78]

some day it will stop. It just might take a while. Just surround yourself with friends and supports and get through it..some day you will wake up and he won't be the first thing that pops in to your head. As for the times you had together, don't think about them for long you'll drive your self insane.

[Shoch]

It will never stop if you lay around thinking about it all the time. Time heals a broken heart - but you have to make an effort.I read somewhere once that it takes half the amount of time you were together to completely get over a broken relationship - so for you it'd be 3 and a half years. Don't know how true that is though. Just thought I'd mention it.But yeah - try to move on. Fill your life by doing fun and interesting things.

[Yum Yum]

I was with someone for 8 years, i had a beautiful little girl by him. I thought i could never stop loving him. I prayed alot and i had others to pray for me. I got over him with a little help of another male friend. When i met my friend and i started spending time with him, i forgot all about him. Time heal all wounds. Start praying about it and you will see change.

[A g]

The pain will eventually stop and the anger will fade. It will become a distent memory. Trust me it does. Just let it go and continue to live your life to the fullest. Remember one thing, it was his loss not yours. Yes you will fall in love again. I did so I know you could too.

[lilsweetpnai7o22]

You won't be in this state of emotion forever...eventually you will get over it...It will hard and long, but you have to give yourself time...It sounds like you don't want to get over it...Apart of you will never let go and won't ever forget about those times...You just have to give yourself some closure and take everyday by small steps....You don't have to keep yourself isolated though...Go out with some friends to help take your mind off of it...Tell them about it, if they're good friends they'll help you get out of this rut...And yes...Eventually you understand this experience...Not now, but in a couple of months or years from now....

[matty]

itll only stop when you accept it and move on, i know that might not make any sense, just try and find someone else (easyer said than done i know lol)

[elmafuddyesmate]

Trust luv, it will get better. I was completely madly head over heels for my boyfriend at the time and he messed me about big time, although when we were together things couldn't have been any more perfect. Anyway, years went past, but I still thought about him loads and loads. Then, one day I bumped in to him and he said he had been trying to contact me. He couldn't stop thinking about me but he had also since we had broken up had a baby with another girl who he was no longer with. I thought "Tough luck mate, I've moved on!". I now have another boyfriend, and even though he was my first love, the love I have for my long term boyfriend now is a different kind of love and I wouldn't give him up for the world. It does take time, and it really is horrible when you break up and for a long time afterwards, but life does go on even if it may seem for a long time like it doesn't. Infact, the funny thing is, that the night I met my "now" boyfriend, earlier that night I did a toast to how much I hated men and that I would never have another boyfriend again!!! : D

[DAR76]

I understand what you are going through when my boyfriend of many years (12+ years) decided that he didn't want to have a relationship with me anymore, got up and left. I never got a solid reason either so that made it hard for me to tie it up to a tidy conclusion since we got along so well. I lost a lot of sleep trying to figure it out and I couldn't. Of course a year later he wanted to get back together and was mess when I said no because after what he did, I knew he was capable of doing it again and I thought of myself instead of him. You did the right thing by breaking off contact. Why be friends at this point? You got the short end of the stick after putting so many years in and you never even got an solid answer to correct anything that may have been a problem. Don't beat yourself up, he hurt YOU with no reason given. It's his lost. Go out with some chums and try to have some good times. Don't feel pressured to start dating right away either. Take some time for yourself and you will get over it - trust me.

[Lily]

Believe me I can feel your pain. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend after ten long years. It's weird like you said its not like you want them back per say because there are way too many issues there now but at the same time all you can think about is the past and all the fun times you guys had together. Maybe you need a change. Can you move, start over in a new environment where you won't have the same memory triggers so you can begin to disassociate? That is what I am doing I am moving over 1000 miles away from him and for once in the past six months(that is how long we have been fighting) I am so excited about my future. I want to take care of myself and have positive influences in my life and he doesn't fit into that category at this time. Anyways what I am saying is that you WILL get over the situation, you just have to allow yourself to. I know you don't want to let go, because I didn't either, but you have to. I sat around for 6 months analyzing every single thing he said to me and that will drive anyone nuts. Slowly make plans for your future and you will be fine in time.

[rocky_chase_angel]

There are billions of people of this planet, cut that in half and you still have billions of men. This relationship you had with him is OVER. By still living in your past, and walking around with so much sadness and heartbreak, you are giving off a terrible vibe, others will pick up on that and avoid you like the plague. You will never be able to meet somebody new and begin a new phase in your love life until you forgive him completely for what he did. You are punishing nobody but yourself, he has probably not given it a second thought and has moved on already. It's time to let yourself be happy and let this go. Good luck.

[chatyboy8]

the pain will not stop untill you learn to accept the truth, to face the fact... first of all love yourself, do you think yourself want you to feel the way your feeling now???... there things i life that we dont had control, like we dont had control to other people... on what they do and say... remember that you can still control your self. the way you think, the way you feel. you just had learn to love your self... chatyboy8@yahoo.com