how to develop a relationship with my child...

[Joseph K]

...(girl) that is 10 and only seen her twice in the ten years? Pretty cut and dry me and the mother did not get along, I walked away. She was one year old. I was needed in family issue in another state. Unstead of goin back to be with child, after the fact I came back into her life when she was 5 and I have seen her all of two times. I call her on the phone every hoilday and send her cards every month. I do pay child support and am not on the birth certificate. When I call her she is very short and when I ask her if she would like to come visit or need anything I sorta thinks Im this creepy guy she dosent know....and says she dosent have time... How can I change this? I have gotten together a family tree portaits for her, sent via mail. I really hate that Im missing out, for both are sakes because I never knew my family either. Her current family is great and Im not tring to intrude or take the place of her step dad. Her mother and I can speak just to pass the phone onto her.

[junimagazine]

You could sue for no being on the birth certificate...

[anim-om]

this is a hard one....you may not like some of the things i say, but i want you to know im not being an a**, im just very blunt...that being said..here we go....you were wrong for leaving her, but you know that....but have you told HER that you know that? im sure shes very angry even if she says she isnt. she feels deserted and like you didnt love her enough to stick around, and that you loved your OTHER family members more than her...that you chose THEM over HER......it may not be true but thats how she feels....also if you and her mother dont get along then you dont know what shes saying about you to your daughter....that can be a problem....my best advise is to go see her and tell her how you feel..shes 10 now and can understand a lot more....it may take some time to get it threw to her... you may have to tell her several times...have you apologized for leaving? even if its not your fault she may be blaming you....make and effort...call more often, find out what she's intrested in and talk to her about those things....10 yrs old is a hard time....if all else fails? give it a little more time....you may miss out now, but if you keep trying, she may give you a chance on down the road and you can be a part of her life then....hope this helps

[DavidSr P]

It's hard to develop a relationship with your child when you are not physically part of their lives. Sure they know you exist, but they really don't know you. I was in this position with two children of my own, This could be better answered by the mother and your child's step father by letting them know you want to be a part of your childs life.