Do you think or feel that a moderation approach to [Archive]

Kriis

01-08-2008, 08:04 PM

If you drink too much then any attempt at moderation is going to be a mere stop gap because you will always slide back to drinking too much.There are many alcoholics in my family and I found myself very close to the tipping point before I decided to cut myself off voluntarily. Other family members have tried the moderation route but it is a crock as they all end up at square one after a short period of relative sobriety. Only the ones who have given it up completely have been at all successful.Alcohol is a drug and and addictive one at that. If you get to the point of excessive drinking on a regular basis, complete abstinence is the only viable choice.

frederickahler

01-08-2008, 08:09 PM

After another blackout (I was babysitting a neighbor's child) I quit drinking. I did not find out how goofy I'd been until several days later when the neighbors angrily informed me I was not to step foot on their property again and that I needed serious help. I was in shock and full of self-loathing. How could I have done this? I love these people!I immediately contacted two old friends via email who'd been heavy drinkers and are now clean and sober for over a decade. They were loving and most supportive and proud of my decision. One advised going to AA, the other suggested therapy, because he felt AA members dwelt too much on talking about drinking instead of moving forward. A conflict...In any event, I was in no position to get to AA meetings (I do not know how to drive) which are miles and miles away from our house. So for a few days I was worried. I even thought I was having a detox reaction one day, but it passed. You see, I'd been "dosing," which means gobbling alcohol out of the bottle for a quick fix throughout the day, every day.I'd mentioned my problem drinking online and a friend said he doesn't drink anymore at all, because moderation is not in his nature - a good point.With the shock of the last blackout still in my bones, I created a special prayer I recite each night before bed, and in the morning I go to my calendar and draw a little martini glass (to desensitize me to drinking cues) to annotate each day I've gone without a drink.It has gone without a hitch! I can be around people who are drinking casually and not crave it. I may be a special case, maybe not. Years ago I was taking speed constantly for two years and I simply quit one day. I was in cognitive therapy at the time and my therapist was amazed that I could just quit without rehab. It felt great! Of course, this meant dropping all my speed friends immediately, but I had plenty of other friends and felt the relief at once.So now I think my several years of cognitive therapy have swooped into the vacuum that quitting alcohol created. I am doing just fine as I pass the milestones: 1 week, 6 weeks (coming up), 1 year, 3 years...Cognitive therapy is simply speaking, changing the way you think about life and emotions and problems - thinking in much more postive ways. Eliminate negative thoughts.As with many things, I think an abrupt halt to drinking is necessary. I do think of drinking in the future - part of my prayer concerning "contemplation, but not temptation," but I have no plans to do so. "One day at a time" is AA's cornerstone, so I take life that way for this.We really are, all of us, capable of immense strength when it comes to taking care of ourselves. In hindsight, my drinking was a bad habit and not an addicition - and to many people that's a fine line.Everyone around me knew I had a problem; everyone around me now congratulates me and I can see the relief and love in their faces.I have much more focus and energy now and realize what a waste of life the drinking can be. No one needs to drink alcohol, regardless of the New Year's Eve and wedding traditions of Champagne toasts, the fact that red wine is healthy for the heart (so are many other thing), etc.I wish you the very best in your decisions and with your life ahead!Frederic Kahler