Experiencing some tension over my interracial...

[Tellem]

...relationship? I've been dating a man for 9 months now. He's black, and I'm white. IR relationships don't bother me in the slightest, obviously. But we live in the midwest, and though some people are progressive, many people still see this as "weird," or unwholesome somehow. I don't really care what people think, but when they've already expressed or revealed their racist thinking to me, I find it hard to tell them who I'm dating. For example, this woman I work with is the sweetest thing in the world, but everytime there's a conversation about drugs or crime, she makes a comment about how they "were probably black." I feel like she'll make all sorts of assumptions about my bf unless she meets him. But I'm not going to drag him around to meet all of my colleagues just to prove their prejudices wrong. Any advice? Anyone else have any experience that might be relevant?

[quoth_the_Rav3n]

I have no experience with that, but I know a lot of interracial couples, and you're right to say that it doesn't matter what others think. You're also right in saying that you don't need to parade him around in front of people. Honey, it's THEIR problem, not yours. Someday, they'll meet him but until then...I'm betting those comments would stop if you'd say something like..."I wish you wouldn't say things like that. I don't think that way and it really upsets me."

[Rokaya]

unfortunately you will have to make a choice, what you prefer - to be seen as a good by ppl who are worthless, or to have a successful relationship. if you really love him forget the ppl. and i promise this situation will never end but i also promise that if you make a right decision you will not take a while again to think, just act.you can mention to your colleague in any situation that your bf is black and if she will be sensitive enough she will stop making those judgements in front of you. sometimes ppl talk that way cause they are scared but after they face reality they change their minds.good luck

[Indypendence]

Girl,You have to have tough skin....to do something that is not within the norm of the society that you live in.My ex-husband, was white, well, I guess he still is white. LOL When we lived overseas life was so much easier. Here in the US it was pure hell sometimes the way people looked at us. Or the questions people would ask. We just lived in our little world and hung around with people who truly believed it mattered not the color of your skin; but what is in your heart.I wish you luck and my only advice is not to worry about what they think, you are responsible for you and if you love him and they don't that's their problem not yours.

[Girley]

Break up with him. Get a white or Asian guy!

[MC Gusto]

Many black people often make similar-sounding racist comments about blacks. It's just generalizations and stereotypes. It doesn't mean so much really. If you're that bothered by it, try letting your friends know that you are offended by racist comments. As friends, they should respectfully not make such comments in your presence.