What can I do to improve my relationship?

[GTO Judge]

My fiancé and I have had a lot of issues lately, and we have both been working on them. We used to fight a lot over stupid stuff, and a little disagreement would turn into World War III because neither one of us wanted to back down and admit that we were wrong! We've made progress though...One of my main problems is that I have a tendency to not let things go....I'll just keep drilling away at him because I want him to know how pissed off I am, I guess.How can I learn to "let things go" without turning into a doormat?I want to make this relationship work...

[yesyesurugly]

write down ur feelign on a notebook and pass it back and forth so you both get achance to write down how u feel. u both have to read it so u will now he know what u are gong through adn he can reply by simply stating that he read it and hopes u can get over it.by the way u need to think, what am i doing inthis realtionship that keeps him here. What do i do that makes him stay with me, if that listis pretty short u need to work on urself. not everyting is the guys fault we women sometimes are so focuesd on all things they do we dont realize that they see nothign to love in us!!

[msfire200520]

u dont have to win all the time... look what its doing to u both u are loosing... be he bigger person sometimes... and ill bet he'll do the same .

[Big Bully]

The rule is to suck it up till you get married. These are how relationship end because one does not know how to control themself.

[theresa d]

Yeah I have to agree with what other comments were there about this issue. We as the women feel sometimes that if we aren't loud and boisterous we aren't heard. I understand that I was married to a man for 17 years who I don't think every really listened to me. I did however have to examine why he didn't I yelled alot and I can tell you nobody really likes to be yelled at. I would suggest you find more healthy ways to express your anger, and feelings. Just because we have all these feelings, doesn't mean we should act on them. Good luck

[suzbailey23]

Being pleasant and reaching compromise easily is not the same as being a doormat.My bf and I NEVER argue and I can assure you I'm no doormat. Actually, one of the things he appreciates about me is that I'm strong-willed, intelligent and capable of having my own opinions. I can be all those things though, without being domineering about it. You have to learn the balance... how to express yourelf without being overpowering. Most of all you have to learn the difference between and argument and a fight. You can argue a point very politely and rationally, without being ugly at ALL. It's much more like debate than what most people call an argument.You'll need this skill even more once you're married, so you better get working on it soon!!!! Talk to him about it, because he needs it too!Life is SO much more enjoyable with you work things out together instead of arguing!

[negrita25]

To make a relatioship work it is so easywant to know about it?well you guys fight because the relationship had come to the point where there's the same routine you have to try to do different new things together that you guys will have so much fun that will link you to have better times,times when you will enjoy laugh will create memories and it will be very easy to pass things because they will not be so important as having fun togethermake love in a different places, with music, in a funny place, create memories of love , smiles, laugh instead of creating memmories of faiths and arguments that will link you to the end of the relationshipyou must ask yourself ...if i really want to have a healthy relationship I ,must try to not focus so much in my partner and love him more....belive me that works along with new hairdo's along with new perfumes, make up, new smiles be the person he met at first!!!! and enjoy love

[Cat-o-bella]

When you crave the sanity of letting something go over "being right", you will achieve serenity.State you point and be willing for him to not agree with it. When he does not, it does not mean he's wrong and you're right... it means you see things differently... be open to that concept.Ask yourself the big picture question - in a (week, month, year, decade) will this even matter? If it will not, physically drop something and let it go... This is a great visual/kinetic thing to do:pick up a rock and imagine it is your disagreement... you can:swallow it - meaning by quiet about it and not voice your opinion - yuck!throw it at him - argue vehemently with him/fight - not good!show it to him, then drop it once he has seen and understood it - ahhh, bliss...!Hope this helps!!