Do people that marry many times have a...

[Gypsy Gal]

...mental problem or just hang ups or just hard to please? The shrinks tell us we just marry the same person over and over again ? might be younger or older but same traits.If you have a better answer {{ then tell me your answer to this problem as I really want to know why two marriages failed for me?

[nihang2008]

I think they become stressed thinking about the past. And ages catches up fast.

[Tinman12]

Marriage is made up of two people. When outside forces that don't mind their own business start interfering with the marriage something is going to give. For example on my first marriage. On paper I was married to one woman, But It seemed I lived with two. Had to endure the opinions of a 2nd. A busy body (mother in-law). Also marrying outside of your cultural understanding is a big NO. After a while there is no point.

[Maine Lady]

Having been a "shrink" for may years in my previous life I would have to say that we do tend to pick the same people over and over again....Yeah, they may look different and initially sound and act different but after the honeymoon period is over reach over and pull the mask off and....suprise....He's back....Let me add that people can learn from their mistakes and many people go on to make good choices in partners after they figure out why they were picking such jerks the first time or two...

[HectiCalm ♥]

I don't think it has to do with mental problems or hangups, per se. Sometimes people expect their partner to make them happy, when really the only person who can make you happy is you. I think it all comes down to respecting the marriage vows and each other. If anyone thought enough of me to marry me, I like to think I'd respect them back. My depth of insight on this question is rather limited, but that's what I think.

[Audrey H]

sometimes their mates die then they remarry only to find out that that person has serious abusive tendancies

[felines]

Another good question.I married first in 1957 when I was too young and had two children right away. We separated in 1960 and finally got around to divorcing in 1973. I didn't remarry until 1982 because I was very picky and, apparently, I did it right this time. Twice is enough.My daughter, on the other hand, is on her fifth marriage, and her daughter is the product of a dalliance with a sixth man. I think in her case, she's like Elizabeth Taylor and wouldn't sleep with a man she wasn't married to (with the exception of the father of her child). I do believe they all began as physical attractions gone awry.My son has been married twice and has been in one long-term relationship which is now over. His first ended because of her cheating; his second because of his cheating; and the relationship because of her boredom. He and his second wife are still friendly, so I dream that he can find happiness.

[peanuthead]

First was the idea I wanted to "be free" and out from under parental control. 16....you know back when you knew it all. Seemed like the easiest option out. My fault. Reality check. Put him through school and then it was decided I wasn't smart enough to continue from there. He had out grown me.went to school and met my second.Second for love and mutual goals in the same profession. Tried but we became wealthy rather quickly and all of a sudden women were crawling out of the woodwork and well.....I was holding him back from this new wonderful life.Third.....had it with the "professionals" and being the woman in the shadows so I opted for a more "down to earth" guy. The days of success and money and all that entailed were done for me. Unfortunatly had a very meddling mother-n-law and he ended up being a very abusive drunk. We had a daughter and after he put my head through a wall and held me at gun point for hours calling me someone elses name.....well....decided I was not going to raise my child like that. Things were good when he was sober and h when he wasn't and the bad times were quickly overcomming the good. Tried too.....individual counseling, AA, Alanon, marraige counseling. Even had him thrown in jail. Beer won.......Third time was good.....or so I thought. Tried to learn from all my past mistakes. We had a daughter....complete with all the complexities of step-parenthood (with my older daughter)....but #1 was the kids. Everything was for the kids. He worked one shift while I worked another so our kids would always have a parent there. He was a wonderful father. There just wasn't anything left for us. Never went on a date. Never had a second alone together. Perfect "family" but I swear if you saw us at a gathering and had to pick out who was married to who....you'd never know it was us. Came home one day before the kids got back from school and he was gone. Hooked up with a big girl tattooed from head to toe with a Harley that he met at work. Hasn't spoken much than 5 words to me since. Threw me for loop. Was trying so hard to be the perfect parent and make up to the oldest for the disruption in her life and all that even though my heart was in the right place for what I thought was the top priority....obviously it was sorely lacking for his.You'd think I'd learn......but no. Had to try again....sheer 100% stupidity on my part. Past middle-age adult....ashamed to admit it but I was blown over with stupid things a high-school kid could see through. I'd been the woman behind the man....the parent and for the first time I thought it was for me. I was as giddy as a school-girl and dumb as a rock. I mean he wrote a song for me. LOL Got flowers for the first time in my life. Romance. Didn't boss me around. Actually appreciated I knew things he didn't. Asked my opinion. Admired me for my intelligence. LOL Couldn't wait to marry me.....his soul mate....girl of his dreams. Signs were there.....just ignored them..I was so blissfully, ignorantly...happy. This was IT. Till we said I do.....then he promptly quit work and has lived off me since. Too old, too tired and too poor to go through yet another divorce. So.....we bet football games on the weekend and nod when we pass in the hall.Mental....most likely....hard to please? No. Too romantic...yes...unrealistic expectations...don't think so. Hard to believe I'm expecting the impossible to have a guy work, or be faithful or not see me as a punching bag.

[fernwood]

My daughter in laws mother is on #6.five out of the 6 worked at AK Steele.She always has one waiting before she starts a divorce.Sometimes people are so lonely they will go for anything.Get to know them before you say "I do"

[gabeymac â€]

I would say all, neither and more. It depends on the person and everyone's story is different.My story, I married the first guy I dated. I was still in school. I was not pregnant and to this day I wonder why my parents let us get married.18 months later our son was born followed by our daughter 2 years later. My husband finished school and went on to college telling me to stay home and take care of the children. He eventually 'outgrew me' had an affair and we divorced. It lasted 7 1/2 years.I finished school, worked and raised my children without the assistance of the state. I was too proudwhich was probably a detriment. I would have had to get on assistance and quit my job in order to go to college at that time.19 years ago I married a man who treated me like a queen, something that I wasn't used to. He was 10 years older than me and well established.He called every night, dated on weekends and could not wait to get married and 6 months later we did.There was no intimacy on our honeymoon ( his terms) and after 1 year I moved to a separate bedroom. We lived this way for 18 years then I divorced him 1 year ago. I always had the inclination that he was gay and just used me to hide the fact from his business partners.So I'm on my own again at 52 . I had no mental problems or hangups until going through this hellnow I'm afraid to trust again.