he wants to talk about the miscarriage in

[Sunset]

counseling? he's in counseling before it ever happened. its MY body and i DONT want him talking about it to anyone but me. Its no one elses business. I refuse to pay someone to talk about my body.he's been going to a counselor for other problems prior to the miscarriage.

[Soon-to-be-mommy!]

Not only do you have feelings about the miscarriage but this "he" also has feelings about the miscarriage. Give him a chance to talk about it. He wants to get his feelings out and hear his counselors opinion. Men may not like showing there emotions but obviously he wants to talk to someone about it.

[Singinganddancing]

Sunset, I know this must've been a painful experience. If it helps, he's not talking about your body, he's talking about his feelings. His feelings have some connection to your body, yes, especially in this instance, but they are his to handle as he sees fit.Talking to a counselor is actually good. What if he needed to process his pain by talking about it with people who weren't discreet, or professional, and had no confidentiality agreement in place? He was going to be a father. A miscarriage is more than a physical experience; as an emotional experience it belongs to both parents. I doubt very much he's going to be getting into bodily details, unless he talks about being afraid for your life, which he might have been also.I'm very sorry for your loss. Please know that by talking about it he's trying to heal, and that's a good thing for both of you.

[uswitchesthree]

its apparent he had problems before the miscarriage thats why he was going to counseling, the miscarriage may have happened to you but he is still impacted by it. I am assuming the baby was also his maybe he feels like hes lost a part of himself by losing the baby and his counsler is the only person he feels he can talk to about it in depth.

[panek025]

He should be able to talk about the miscarriage in counseling. I see nothing wrong with it. You have to remember that the man feels a sense of lose when a miscarriage happens. He may not want you to know of his disappointment for fear that it will make it worse for you. I have been through 3 miscarriages, and my husband once said to me that it is very hard for a man, he has to deal with the loss of a baby along with the woman's emotions. I unfortunately think that men get there feelings get pushed in a corner, because all of the focus is put on the woman's feelings. He may just be hurting more than you know.

[Gloria H]

Do you understand the concept of compound grief? Well losing a child tops the list of causes for compound grief. This grief is felt not only by the mother but also by the father. While I know you feel sensitive about he may be saying, I can assure you that he is probably dealing with some emotions that you never even thought about. We as women want to be so self-oriented when it comes to grief of a miscarriage and oft times the men and their feelings get ignored.I applaud him for dealing with his compound grief and I suggest you do the same because you might find out something as simple as this post is a manifestation of compound grief. I do want to tell you in time your heart will heal. You are entitled to your emotions and I suggest you allow yourself time to grieve. Just don't let this experience change the person you are. I wish you all the best in dealing and if you need a friend I have been there and I know it helps to get it out.

[mammaslittletrollop]

you need to remember that it was his baby to ( im assuming)when i had a miscarriage it was the FIRST time i ever saw my hubby cry and we have been together for 4 years,he had alot of trouble accepting it and realising that there was no one to blame for it.i wish that he had got counselling because I was trying to move on from it and he kept going on about it and i got really sick of talking about it.just leave him be its not as if the counseller can talk to anyone else about it and if its helping him then it really is a good thing