Even after a miscarriage very early on, are

[OUCH!]

you a mother? Some people in my family believe it is obsurd that I acknowledge myself as a mother on Mother's Day since I miscarried at only 7 weeks. I have been trying to concieve for 2 years and last December, I finally got pregnant but lost it as soon as I found out (2 weeks later) Since it happened almost a year ago and since my baby is not here, is it obsurd to think that I am/or was a mother? Honest answers, please..It won't hurt my feelings. I need to know the truth! Thanks All.

[s7e28w81]

Honestly, part of me wants to say yes you are a mother. Part of me wants to say that a mother consists of the endless hours of no sleep, no food, joyous occasion, tears (both yours and theirs), thousands of poop diapers (even when some gets on your hand), spit up in your hair, hair pulled, etc. All in all, a mother is what you think it is. Sorry for your loss.PS- I celebrated mother's day when I was pregnant. So celebrate away if you want.

[bklyn_annie]

Hmmmm I think so, even though you only carried the child for 2 weeks, you still had the baby in your womb. Sorry to hear about your loss.

[lene_172]

I would celebrate it. Even if it was only 2 weeks you didn't have a baby in your womb. When I was pregnant I celebrated Mother's Day. :)

[Lindsey]

I honestly wouldnt say that you are a mother because you never gave birth to the child and the child is not in your hands now. But another part of me kinda wants to say that you are because you did carry the child for a while. If i were in your shoes and I had to pick one or the other I would not acknowledge myself as a mother on mother's day..but that isj ust my personal opinion. Sorry about your loss and good luck concieving :)!

[ljb]

First and foremost, I'm sorry for your loss.With regard to your question, I think the bottom line is: if *you* somehow identify yourself as a mother, or as someone who was a mother, then no one's opinion is going to change that, or should change that. That being said, however, you asked for honest opinions and my honest opinion is that identifying (or, in your words, acknowledging) yourself as a mother on Mother's Day is...odd. I don't deny the pain of your loss, or the pain of fertility issues: I went through a few years of that myself, and went through about half a dozen losses. Being human, I can't help but look to my own experiences in that regard to inform my opinion here, and, for what it's worth, while I went through more pain than I could ever describe for someone who hasn't gone through it, and I longed more than anything to be a mother, I never thought of myself as being a mother simply by virtue of becoming pregnant. It's fair to say that it doesn't make sense to me -- miscarriage (which is AWFUL) is astroundingly commonplace....in my estimation a person isn't a mother until they "have a child," whether they give birth to the child themselves or adopt. I almost wrote "a living child" but there is a world of difference to me between, say, going through labor and delivering a full term stillborn baby, and having a first trimester miscarriage. (Again, it is not that I am in any way dismissive of miscarriage. AT ALL.)Anyway, it seems clear to me that, for those two weeks, you were a mother in your heart, and that's something that doesn't just go away. And in that regard there's nothing absurd at all. But that's such a .... private thing. I guess taking it to a public level, such as a Mother's Day acknowledgement, is what crosses the line for me, and what *could*, I believe, be perceived as depressive or even somewhat delusional thinking by others who know (as a factual matter) of your efforts to become pregnant and of your miscarriage, but who don't know what that's like from personal experience of their own.I hope that makes sense. But mostly I hope that you get pregnant again soon, and experience a healthy, happy, and complete pregnancy. (And I will say that, when you do "really" become a mother...you will appreciate the gift more than someone who didn't go through what you are going through, and you will truly be awed. I hope you experience that soon!)Best of luck.

[joostine]

yes you are a Mother, you are capable of pregnancy even if it was not viable. Does it mean a woman who cannot have children of her own but adopts is not a mother? she is.

[nique1012]

did you love your baby than yes i believe you are a mother