Why do people try to minimize the loss of people...

[lab31262]

Why do people try to minimize the loss of people who have experienced stillbirth? People seem to think that those who have experienced this type of loss should "just get over it", that it's not that big a deal.thank you for all your kind responses. I have had 3 preterm stillbirths and my middle son passed away the day after he was born. I am fortunate enough to have an 11 yr old son who was born @31wks (3lb 4oz) and is wonderful with the exception of mild cp. I just find it so endlessly sad that most people pretend that the rest of my children never existed.

[optimismopski]

Probably because they've either; A) never experienced it themselves, or B) because it's an awful, unimaginable loss that they cannot begin to understand- so they shut the emotions associated with it out of the equation.

[Deepak]

I think that the mere thought of the possibility is so devastating, that people chose to shut their eyes to it. It is in fact, extremely distressing and disturbing that this can happen, especially to the mom that carried and loved this child from conception. i see this as the same as "what if someone stole your child?" That thought is SO overwhelmingly dark and painful, that I choose not to even look down that road, because my mind will not allow me to. ( I am as cautious as a human being can be over her young ones, but we are all targets, I know)If you lost your baby to still birth, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Nothing is worse.

[sabina]

It is a big deal. You have (I'll assume it is you...if not, apply "her" or "she" to "you") lost a life that was growing inside you. You lose someone to whom you had the strongest possible bond between two humans.Others try to minimize that loss because they could not share in the bonding, and therefore cannot truly share in the loss. It is a weakness in humans that many think if they cannot see something, it does not fully exist. That is why so many are okay with committing aboriton...they cannot see the baby, so it does not exist. The same reason exists as to why people can become agnostic or atheistic.I mourn your loss, and I hope that time helps to heal your wound. May God bless you, and speed your recovery.Amen.

[Ashma]

I have no idea why people do what they do. But I think a lot of people view it as the parents have not had a chance to "get to know the baby" which I believe is ridiculous everything that has breathed has a soul and everyone one has energy so that is never lost. I wish people weren't so insensitive.

[13ang]

We're socialized not to feel or show grief and pain. Rather than comfort the mother and family, most see it as no big deal and their school of thought is "they can always try again." I think it's messed up but unfortunately that's the way most people are.